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How to be the most horrible boss of all times
The first thing to remember is this simple truth: your the boss and only what you think matters. Nevermind how many times it has been proven wrong in the past.
A really bad boss micromanages everything, because employees are not to be trusted anyway. You should belittle especially those who had been doing their job a long time and know it inside and out. Nobody can never be as smart as you are.
Always remember that you're the one in command – never let your staff make decisions on their own. The smaller the task that relies on your decision, the more you have your employees to check with you and the more important you are! Make more work for others by letting them prepare options for you and then don't choose any of them. Real pros decide on their own anyway.
Hiring experts makes you look like you really want the best for your company. It doesn't mean though that you have to listen to whatever they say. Ignore them, preferably publicly. What's their so-called expertise compared to your years of experience and unswerving intuition?
Also try to ignore your lazy employee's issues. In the end it's your subordinates' problem when they aren't getting along. Get upset and shout out loud anytime appropriate – freeing yourself from frustration makes you healthier. But remember to never get involved with facts. Facts are for those who can't make decisions on their own.
Keep all ideas and reasons to yourself. Eventually one of those suckers could steal your ingenious ideas and get himself or herself some undeserved credit. Also your team should have something to discuss when you're not around. By letting them only guess your strategies you keep them concentrated on their work. If possible, do not have any plan at all. Visionaries don't need a plan.
Of course you want to be popular, not a total jerk. Consider forcing your team to drink alcohol or sing karaoke at any possible occasion. Then tell everybody that you actually like them so much and show them how you suddenly care for their families or pets. True experts also flirt around with members of the different sex – or their own, however the preference. Showing who's the alpha animal doesn't equal exploiting anything.
Following our simple rules will make you the nightmare of every employee. And don't forget to share with us your worst experience with superiors.
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