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How to appear smart on meetings
Sometimes you just can't avoid to participate on a meeting. No matter how pointless it appears to you, it's important to come over smart. With these easy techniques you can spend it daydreaming or playing Candy Crush undisturbed while everybody will think how competent and indispensable you are.
Nod permanently while pretending you're taking notes
Taking notes signals you pay attention to what's being said and want to keep the information to further work with it. Of course you don't really have to listen, just write down random words you hear. Remember that if you were just drawing pictures in your notebook people would notice. If some idiot asks if they can share your notes quickly say that these are your personal notes in your unreadable handwriting and someone else should record the meeting.
Repeat what has been already said in other words
If you're a man you may already use this technique without even noticing it: everytime somebody said something smart or important, simply repeat it. Ideally you take a comment that has been barely noticed and say it out loud so it appears as your idea. "Let me briefly repeat" or "Let's sum this up" are the key phrases you operate with.
Remind everybody to "remember the essentials"
What if you're suddenly called upon to contribute an opinion or suggestion? You've already completely lost track of what's being discussed but need to say something. "Guys, can we please remember the essentials?" This will make you seem as the one who sees the big picture and gets to the bottom of things. "We should ask ourselves what problem are we trying to solve here in the first place."
Ask the presenter to go back a slide
It doesn't matter at what point of the presentation you interrupt it, such heckle guarantees you a minute of attention. You gotta be smarter than everybody else, because you obviously found some important point nobody else noticed. Ain't there actually any? Just say something like "I'm not sure what these numbers mean" and sit back.
Leave the room to make calls
Don't be afraid that other participants might think that you don't care enough about the meeting. Leave it for an "important call" actually makes them realize how busy and important you are.
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